Of Feelings and Emptiness
by Shipper Friendly
Summary: Edward's POV in some parts of New Moon.


**I always wondered what Edward was thinking/doing or whatever in New Moon...this is my interpretation! It's kind of short, but it's my first Twi-fic. (the end is a twist on what I wanted to happen) I'm on Eclipse! YAY! I'll let ya know when I'm finished with the series!**

** Anyone watch the Office last night by any chance? O. M. G.**

_After the break up_

I quickly ran from the forest where the only _human _girl I could ever talk to, ever have to protect, ever be close to was standing. I couldn't bear to watch her face. I had already began to feel like I left my life behind. I heard her call my name and I wished again that I could just read her thoughts, see if she really did miss me.

The wind pushed my hair to the side and I wished for one moment that I could cry. I felt like crying. Usually, I was glad I wasn't able to cry because my father used to say it showed weakness. Most fathers do say that, thought it's never true.

I arrived at home in a few mere seconds I felt like climbing on my couch and just thinking. I couldn't cry or fall asleep or do any feeling related things. All I could do was wait. Make sure Bella didn't attempt suicide or anything. I didn't want to leave! It was so true! If only she knew that. I wish I could tell her.

_Texas_

I booked a hotel when I found out Victoria was going to be in Texas. I didn't really find out, I just read her thoughts and she was thinking about Texas. Hence, booked hotel.

I was reminded of the hospital somehow when I walked into the room. Just the vibe of the room reminded me of the time when Bella almost was killed by James. I tried not to think about her name or her at all. It made the space where my heart should be feel just more empty.

I laid down on the bed I wouldn't sleep in and my mind drifted. I thought of how it would feel if Bella...was occupying the space next to me on this bed. I curled into a ball like I wanted to do at home and just thought. I knew that I had about an hour to think before I had to check on Victoria. I had only just gotten here, so Victoria was probably not even close yet.

Bella...I hope she is alright. I wish I had explained better. As though a brick hit me in the head, I had an idea. I wasn't in love with Bella Swan. Isabella Marie Swan was not my love. But she was. I was in love with Bella Swan and I had just lost her.

An hour quickly past before it was time to check up on Victoria...

_The Funeral_

I called Bella's house to check up on her. Alice said she saw her jumping from a cliff. It could either mean she commits suicide or was pushed. As the phone rang, I got impatient. I heard Jacob Black's scruff voice.

"Hello?"

"Hello, is Charlie there?" I decided that if Bella was dead, it would be strange and cruel for both Jacob and me.

"No, he's at the funeral." That's when I broke. Everything left of me crumbled. I quickly said bye. It was over. My reason for living a never-ending life was gone. She really jumped. All because of me. Jacob, Charlie...everyone who cared about Bella were suffering because of me. Everything was my fault and I knew it. Charlie knew it. Jacob knew it. Everyone knew it. I truly hated myself. I knew what I had to do.

I threw my cell phone in a nearby trashcan because it was the cause of this pain. I looked around and then ran at full speed for Italy.

_Clock Tower...by it._

This was it. The Volturi may have said no when I asked, but if I shone in the sun, I would be dead meat. And that is exactly what I wanted to do. I'll be with Bella soon enough...

I counted down in my head the time until the end came for me...

5...I love you Bella.

4...I'll see you in about a day.

3...I hope your where I am.

2...I love you again.

1...Here goes nothing.

I was just about to step out when I heard my name and hands against my chest, trying to push my back. I didn't realize my eyes were closed until I opened them.

My first thought was _I'm dead, _because I thought that I was. Bella was dead. I saw her.

"That was fast...I can't believe I'm already dead!"

"EDWARD! You are NOT dead! We are both alive and well! Well, not real if you go out in the sun."

"I'm...not dead?"

"No!"

"And you're not dead?"

"NO!" Bella sounded angry. I couldn't be happier. I laughed and picked up Bella and swung her around. I WASN'T DEAD! I kissed her in the air. She laughed nervously as Alice came over. I was euphoric.

"Alice, I'm not dead!"

"Great...you will be soon though. Hurry!" She pointed to guards coming this way.

Though the situation wasn't good, I couldn't be happier.

**Hope you liked it! Leave me love!**


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